Things my Grandmother taught me...


Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so?
Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes.

This is a photo of my Grandmother - she is a constant source of inspiration and guidance. She was an amazing woman who in the 1950's raised 4 children by herself, no husband, as the story goes... he went out for ice cream and didn't come back.

When I was still a baby both my parents died and it was my Grandmother who took me and my brother in. She was then in her 50's and had just buried her daughter (our mom) and yet still had the strength to raise two more kids.

She was unconventional, crazy and brilliant. It was she that taught me to love Black & White movies. It was she that gave me the love of performing - she would play records put a boa around my neck and direct me to sing and dance - sorta like Louise's Mom in GYPSY - always telling me to "SING OUT"

She used to always say: Never allow yourself to say, I would've, I could've, I should've... but I didn't! 

Okay... its not original but her delivery of it was.  

She'd have a Virginia Slims Ultra Light dangling from either her lips or fingers as she would command your complete attention and then delivered the line with the depth and drama of Betty Davis' famous line in ALL ABOUT EVE  "fasten your seat belts it's gonna be a bumpy night".  It was not until much later that I realized why this made a huge impression on me - it's because she filled it with the weight of a life of regrets... of her regrets.

Sadly she died too soon - I was only 18 and too young to have an adult relationship with her - but I still feel her with me - in all those little words of wisdom she would dole out with her sarcastic wit and smoke filled voice. She was quick to put anyone in their place if she felt they needed to be and God help the person that crossed any of her kids - me and my brother included.

As I sit in this reflective state I realize that I have been in an amazing period of Growth and Change. I've been re-establishing every aspect of my personal/social life and my career all while continuing to develop my spiritual practice and path.  I am celebrating 12 wonderful years of marriage to THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.  I have my Acting Career on a track that I am extremely proud of. I am surrounded by an amazing group of friends and one completely adorable, beautiful, furry Angel :)

Though she will never meet the woman I have become, I am this woman because of the things my Grandmother taught me - all those endless, wonderful words of wisdom that echo back to me and they always seem to come just at the right time...

For all the lessons I've gotten and the ones that I have yet to get...
Thank you Nanny - THANK YOU!!!

Comments

  1. NayoJuly 19, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    So gorgeous Mista Sista- sooo beautifully said. What a woman! I'm just filled with a warmth in my heart that's part sadness (that she's gone) and part gratitude (that you had her for the time you did AND that she LIVES in you in the best and most perfect way :) I hope she knows... I KNOW she knows what an amazing woman she helped shape and develop and what a difference you make in the lives of everyone who knows you. I am very grateful to her for you. I love you so much! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. DawnMarieJuly 20, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Thank you so much Mista-Sista xo LOVE YOU sooo much!! xo

    ReplyDelete

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