You know you're a guido/guidette when...

Okay, I am a NATIVE NEW YORKER.
I was raised with my Italian side
of my family on The Lower East Side of
Manhattan - (Little Italy)
me and my family are not Guido's
and Guidettes BUT some of my best
friends are.

Watching "The Jersey Shore" for
me is like seeing old friends of mine -
I hate that some people say the
cast "is not Italian" -

YES THEY ARE!!!!

They are Italian/Americans from Jersey.

It's kinda like the BREAKFAST CLUB - everyone
has a label - there's the 'smart one',
'the prep', 'the nerd' etc...
Guidos are a classification unto themselves.

I created a little cheat sheet to help you
distinguish them from your everyday
Italians and hey, who knows you might be one
yourself...

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE A GUIDO/GUIDETTE:

GUIDETTE:
You have extremely long, usually fake
nails - painted in a bright color (usually some
shade of Fuchsia or White) and
talking about how you chose that nail color is a
whole conversation in itself.

GUIDETTE:
You're biggest ambition in life is to
marry a Guido.

GUIDO:
Your biggest ambition in life is
to marry a girl that will take care of you like
your mom does.

BOTH:
You spend half your time looking in
the mirror and the other half trying to
find a reflective surface to look at
yourself.

BOTH:
You have more than a couple brothers
and sisters all either named -
Sal, Anthony, Joey, Marie, Fran or Teresa.

BOTH:
You go to the tanning salon or use
self tanners until there is an ORANGE
glow to your skin - not really
going for the natural look here...

GUIDO:
Spend most of the time working out,
and when not working out you are
flexing your muscles and showing them
to everyone - hey - things of beauty are
meant to be shared.

BOTH:
anxiously count down the days until the
summer - when you and about 30 of your neighborhood/
childhood friends can go to the house
you all rented on the Jersey Shore.

BOTH:
Wear all the jewelry you own at
all times - its safer than in the house or in a bank.

xo

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