Testing The Waters

It doesn't really matter what you expect from life, it's what life expects from you. ~ David Wheeler I learned to deal with the death of a loved one at an early age. My father was killed when I was just five years old and a year later my mother lost her battle with cancer. Ironically, my parents were twenty-eight years old when they passed. My maternal grandmother raised me, sadly she passed away when I was eighteen years old. These were and continue to be great losses for me. Somehow through it all I believed that there was a grand design to it all, don't know why I believed this, I just did. Life is not measured in "years"  life is  measured by the depth of experience.  I've always known that with my personal experience with grief came a unique responsibility. I know all too well that grief and suffering are intensely personal experiences.  My story seems to inspire others to survive. This is the reason why I continue to openly share my story, ad...

Life is spontaneous and unpredictable, at any given moment it can change direction. The only way to navigate through it all is to become unapologetically open and unabashedly vulnerable to the experience because everything in life happens to help us LIVE. A month and a half has passed since our Scarlett's death. Her absence has created an unbearable silence in our lives. In this silence I pray for the lesson in it all, what is it we are to learn that only Scarlett's death could teach us? This question has me holding a mirror to myself and a magnifying glass over my life. With our Scarlett (April 2013) I needed to make a change in my life - of this I am certain. Month's prior to Scarlett's death I'd ask out loud:  "What is it you want to do?" "What is it you want to achieve with your life?" As many of you know I am an actress and being an actress means having a life filled with auditions. Auditioning is a major component to this occu...

Our regal furry Baby Our beautiful furry baby Scarlett enriched me and my husbands lives in many ways. Scarlett is our daughter, our furry, four legged daughter and the pain from her passing is unbearable. Just as we feel we are finding solid ground it falls away and we are left sobbing.  The constant questions persist on why she passed - did we not do enough - why's and what if's continue to swirl around and the heaviness this creates in our souls is beyond what words can express.  Having suffered many losses early on in my life prior to Scarlett's passing I felt I had a grip on grieving. Both my parents passed away by the time I was six years old and then I endured the subsequent loss of my guardian/maternal Grandmother when I was 18. Losing this many important people in my life I learned first hand of the void that is created, its a void that can never be filled and to this day I continue to grieve those early losses. HEALING...

The fourth of July brings to mind images of white stars and stripes of red, white and blue. HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN FLAG The American Revolutionary war broke out in April 1775 - at the time not all of the American Colonists were in favor of breaking free from Great Britain, most wanted peace. Towards the middle of 1776 that opinion changed and the then 13 American Colonies decided to start the birth of a new nation, though some civilians remained loyal to the King during the war.                                                                                                                                                ...

Mercury turns retrograde today... what does that mean? MERCURY The derivation is from the Latin word  merx which means merchant. It is the name given by ancient Romans to the Greek god Hermes. Hermes/Mercury is known to be a trickster and prone to pranks. He is messenger of the gods & god of science and commerce. MERCURY RETROGRADE This is an event that occurs three times a year for three weeks at a time. During this time Mercury slows down and appears to turn backwards (retrograde) through the zodiac, Mercury then slows down again and returns to its natural orbit (direct). The next Mercury retrograde beings Wednesday, June 26th and it will go direct July 20th. MURPHY'S LAW Mercury retrograde has a negative connotation, it is a time that is most associated with Murphy's law. The now famous Murphy's Law quote was originated by aerospace engineer Edward Aloysis Murphy jr. He worked with the Air Force developing high-speed rocket sled experiments...

"Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it?  I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it." ~ Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby) Well this Friday, June 21st, is the longest day of the year.  It's not only the longest day of the year it is also referred to as Midsummer which is celebrated in Europe much like Christmas and New Years and it is also known as the Summer Solstice. * Solstice derives from the latin sol  (sun) and sistere  (to stand still). As the day progresses the sun rises higher and higher until it seems to stand still in the sky. IT'S PLANETARY The summer solstice occurs when the Earth's axis is at its maximum tilt towards the sun and the sun in turn is at its highest point in the sky, the meeting of these two celestial events is the longest day of the year, meaning it is the one day in the whole year with the most daylight. It falls in June on the Northern Hemisphere and in Dece...

"When the time comes for growth and change  we must have the courage and faith to let go."  ~ Ilyanla Vanzant   I've recently come to the conclusion that everyone's story is epic. We each are living enormous lives, whether you're a writer, producer, dancer, singer, equestrian or the mother of three - we are all living complex lives. What I'm just now grasping is the concept that life truly is about loving yourself, loving yourself allows you to be your true self and its this authenticity that allows you to remain present and open to everything the universe is making available to you. PARTS OF THE WHOLE You can not create a Film or TV show by yourself, it takes a team effort to bring a project to life.  There are innumerable departments and positions on a Film or TV set - ever watch the credits roll at the end of a movie or TV show? The lion share of the accolades and notoriety is bestowed upon my fellow actresses and actors so it becomes easy to dis...

If you haven't watched Oprah's Master Class on OWN you need to stop reading this post right now and go tune in... it is absolutely amazing! And if you don't know which channel OWN is on here's an easy     Channel Finder WHAT IS MASTER CLASS? Master Class is a show on the Own Network, in each episode a successful celebrity talks straight to camera and  openly  discusses the lessons they've learned from their life. Jane Fonda, Stevie Nicks, Tom Brokaw are just some that have  appeared  in this series. I recently watched Lenny Kravitz's Master Class and he  brought up many topics that I hold close to my own heart - one in particular had to do with race.  On the program he reveals a number of defining moments from his life but one in particular had a huge impact on him - this incident happened when he was in first grade.  On the first day of class his teacher had handed out one of those state mandated forms requiring the standard i...