Okay, I am a NATIVE NEW YORKER.
I was raised with my Italian side
of my family on The Lower East Side of
Manhattan - (Little Italy)
me and my family are not Guido's
and Guidettes BUT some of my best
Watching "The Jersey Shore" for
me is like seeing old friends of mine -
I hate that some people say the
cast "is not Italian" -
YES THEY ARE!!!!
They are Italian/Americans from Jersey.
It's kinda like the BREAKFAST CLUB - everyone
has a label - there's the 'smart one',
'the prep', 'the nerd' etc...
Guidos are a classification unto themselves.
I created a little cheat sheet to help you
distinguish them from your everyday
Italians and hey, who knows you might be one
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE A GUIDO/GUIDETTE:
You have extremely long, usually fake
nails - painted in a bright color (usually some
shade of Fuchsia or White) and
talking about how you chose that nail color is a
whole conversation in itself.
You're biggest ambition in life is to
marry a Guido.
Your biggest ambition in life is
to marry a girl that will take care of you like
your mom does.
You spend half your time looking in
the mirror and the other half trying to
find a reflective surface to look at
You have more than a couple brothers
and sisters all either named -
Sal, Anthony, Joey, Marie, Fran or Teresa.
You go to the tanning salon or use
self tanners until there is an ORANGE
glow to your skin - not really
going for the natural look here...
Spend most of the time working out,
and when not working out you are
flexing your muscles and showing them
to everyone - hey - things of beauty are
meant to be shared.
anxiously count down the days until the
summer - when you and about 30 of your neighborhood/
childhood friends can go to the house
you all rented on the Jersey Shore.
Wear all the jewelry you own at
all times - its safer than in the house or in a bank.